What's Draining You?

What's Draining You?

Filed Under: Overeating

26 April 2024 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis

One of the reasons many of us eat mindlessly is because we feel drained.

There are many things in our lives that drain us that we have zero control over. It’s pointless to try and manage those things.

There are also many things in our lives that are within our control. It’s useful to examine the day-to-day things that drain us and do something about them.

Let’s look at some of these:


  • My job is stressful, I receive no recognition for my efforts.
  • I find it hard to delegate and say no to colleagues.
  • I am overwhelmed with way too many projects.
  • I would like to find a job that is more fulfilling.
  • I avoid confrontation and don’t set boundaries.


  • My home environment is cluttered and messy.
  • My wardrobe is a mess and I can’t find clothes to wear.
  • There are a whole lot of appliances that need repair.
  • There are many unfinished projects at home.


  • I’ve been postponing a medical check-up.
  • I am struggling to sleep.
  • I need a haircut.
  • I want to find exercise that I enjoy.
  • I sit for long periods of time.


  • There are people in my life who deplete my energy.
  • I am dreading a difficult conversation that I need to have.
  • I miss having friends in my life.
  • I need more “me time”.
  • I would like to be part of a like-minded community.
  • I feel unsupported by those around me.


  • There are projects I would like to do but don’t have time.
  • I’m hungry for intellectual stimulation.
  • I don’t have enough fun or pleasure in my life.
  • My life lacks a sense of meaning and purpose.
  • Many of my emotional needs are unmet.
  • I have unrealistic expectations of myself and others.
  • My perfectionism keeps me stuck.


  • My debt weighs on me.
  • I regularly spend more than I earn.
  • I have unpaid bills.
  • My taxes have not been filed.
  • My admin isn’t up to date.

Do any of these sound familiar?

You are not alone. I can certainly tick a few of these boxes!

So, what do we do to recharge ourselves?

We start by accepting what we can’t change and identifying what we can.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Of the things that I do, what drains me?
  • Who are the people that deplete me of my energy?
  • What activities energise me?
  • Who are the people I feel good around?
  • What activities nourish me?
  • What gives me pleasure?
  • What gives me a sense of purpose and meaning?

Once you have identified what drains you and what recharges you, start taking action. You don’t have to take giant leaps. Take tiny steps towards what revitalizes you.

Three antidotes to feeling drained


Explore things that you find enjoyable. It can be painting or drawing. Engaging in any creative activity. Find a hobby that you enjoy. Go out into nature. Take a walk. Be kind to your body by taking a nap when you are tired. Enjoy your favourite meal.


Consider doing something that will give you a sense of satisfaction or achievement. Make a list of all the tasks you need to do; you could use the categories above. Start small by doing something simple like responding to an email you’ve been avoiding. You could clean out one drawer. Pay a bill.  Start a difficult task by doing a small part of it.


As much as possible, bring your mind to the present moment. Focus your attention on what you are doing in the moment. Try not to spend time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Focus on single tasks. Be present for the ordinary moments.


Be realistic.

Try different activities and keep an open mind about them.

Make small changes.

There is no failure, just experimenting.

Don’t judge yourself.

Remove the pressure by letting go of the need for perfection.

It’s important to acknowledge yourself whenever you take even the tiniest action, congratulate yourself!

And, as you go about making these small changes, do it with gentleness and care for yourself.

All of my best,

“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”

Karen L, Denver, USA

“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Karen J, Colorado, USA

“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”

Sweta Vikram, New York, USA

“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”

Daniela Velásquez, Ottawa, Canada

“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”

Rachel, Dublin, Ireland

“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”

Heather B, Cork. Ireland

“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”

Michelle, Johannesburg, South Africa

“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”

Diana, Vancouver, Canada

“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”

Sarah, Illinois, USA

“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”

Sandy, London, United Kingdom

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro Professional Member of The Center for Mindful Eating