What To Give Up

Heart made from coffee beans. What do you give up to change your relationship with food and overeating?

Filed Under: Overeating

12 February 2015 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis

What do you give up to change your relationship with food and overeating? No, it’s not carbs!

You are probably expecting me to say give up sugar, refined and processed foods, alcohol, coffee, fried foods, etc, etc.

So then what?

Give up snacks or do some juicing and fasting?


Give up yoga and do intense interval training?


The things I am going to recommend that you consider giving up will change so much in your life.

So here is what to give up:

  • Hating yourself, your limitations, your imperfections and of course, your body
  • Control – of yourself and others
  • Dieting, detoxes, starvation and restricting food
  • Ignoring your hunger and letting yourself get starving
  • Judging yourself…and others
  • Judging your food as good or bad
  • Keeping clothes that don’t fit you in the hope that they will one day and keeping them in your cupboard as a reminder to get thinner!
  • Busyness
  • Neglecting your needs for rest, play and fun
  • Overworking to get that to-do list done (it will never be done!)
  • “Shoulda – Woulda – Coulda” (my favourite line from Sex and The City)
  • Trying to be thin from a place of lack and despair
  • People-pleasing
  • Forbidden foods
  • Counting …anything… including apps that do it for you
  • Impatience for quick results
  • Resistance to what you are experiencing in the moment
  • Comparing yourself – to your former self or to others (remember compare = despair)
  • Being scared of buffets or social events because of food

Why give these things up? Well simply because they are mostly ineffective, cruel and make you stressed and miserable. They also make it very difficult to get to a place of peace with food, eating and your body.

So how do you do this?

  • Observe.
  • Notice and become aware of your thoughts.
  • When you notice you are judging, comparing, hating or people-pleasing… Pay attention and kindly tell yourself “Look at how I am judging my body.” Then let the thought pass.
  • Choose a thought that is kinder and makes you feel better.

– Xen

“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”

Karen L, Denver, USA

“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Karen J, Colorado, USA

“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”

Sweta Vikram, New York, USA

“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”

Daniela Velásquez, Ottawa, Canada

“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”

Rachel, Dublin, Ireland

“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”

Heather B, Cork. Ireland

“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”

Michelle, Johannesburg, South Africa

“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”

Diana, Vancouver, Canada

“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”

Sarah, Illinois, USA

“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”

Sandy, London, United Kingdom

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro Professional Member of The Center for Mindful Eating