52 Ways To Comfort Yourself Without Eating
19 October 2016 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis
Filed Under: Emotional Eating Overeating
How often have you found yourself at the bottom of a packet of Doritos or a jar of Nutella at the end of hectic day?
Comfort eating is an automatic behaviour for many of us. Studies show that eating when we are feeling emotional releases “feel good” chemicals in the brain. As human beings, we are wired to avoid any form of pain (whether it be physical or emotional) and to seek pleasure. This pleasure can be in the form of many things: shopping, alcohol, drugs, sex, Facebook. For many of us the easiest way to soothe ourselves is through food because it is so readily accessible.
When working with clients, I look at the kinds of situations that trigger us to overeat and we look at alternatives to eating. Of course, sometimes the only thing we want to do is eat and that’s perfectly okay – just do it mindfully. Emotional eating does not need to be emotional OVEReating. Read more about how to eat emotionally in a mindful way, here.
Together, with my clients, we have created a list of things that we can do instead of eat. So if you choose not to eat when you are feeling bad, here is a list to choose from!
- Call a friend who will listen
- Play with your dog or pet
- Find a soothing object – soft jersey, blankie
- Vent in a journal or vent to the chair
- Do a Mindfulness Body Scan
- Do a meditation
- Breathe …. take 5 deep breaths in, hold for 5 and breathe out slowly for 10 (watch this video)
… or do square breathing (watch this video) - Go for a walk
- Go into the garden
- Create a playlist or listen to music
- Do a puzzle
- Play cards or solitaire
- Create a vision board
- Connect virtually with others in support groups
- Play with worry beads
- Plan a holiday
- Plan a party
- Do some gardening or plant a herb garden
- Watch some TED talks
- Do a free online course
- Do embroidery , suddoko, a crossword, knit, sew
- Doodle
- Paint or sketch
- Squeeze bubble wrap – one of my favourites!
- Soak in the bath with Epsom salts and candles – cheesy, I know, but it works!
- Do 3 yoga poses
- Make yourself a cup of herbal tea
- Make a gratitude list or write a list of what is NOT wrong
- Check out Pinterest
- Clean out cupboards, drawers
- Netflix….
- Dance like nobody’s watching
- Scrapbook
- Organise your old photos or create a photo album
- Read a magazine
- Breathe again…..
- Rearrange a room
- Organise your books
- Write a handwritten letter
- Bake or cook something and give it to the homeless
- Next time you are at a toy shop buy bubbles and blow bubbles – another favourite of mine!
- Google an interesting topic
- Go into nature
- Get a mindfulness colouring-in book
- Visit a nursery
- Go to the movies
- Change into comfy, soft clothes and curl under a blanket
- Listen to a podcast or the radio
- Switch off all the lights and light candles
- Go look at the stars or the clouds
- Think of past happy moments
- Plan a career change
If none of these activities appeal to you and you choose not to eat, then the solution is to actually feel the emotion. The reason we eat emotionally is to escape and distract ourselves from the difficult emotion.
I’ll talk more on how to do this in my next blog…
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“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”
“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”
“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”
“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”
“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”
“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”
“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”
“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”
“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”
