Stop the Food Madness: How to Do It Bite by Bite

Stop the Food Madness: How to Do It Bite by Bite

Filed Under: Anti-Diet

26 July 2019 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis

Changing your relationship to food can be really difficult especially if you have had a turbulent history of dieting and restriction.

Diets are a quick but not sustainable “fix”. In fact, diets are the culprit to creating a difficult relationship to food. The very thing we have been taught to turn to is what is keeping us stuck.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

— Albert Einstein —

Focusing on weight loss and food restriction perpetuates the restrict – binge cycle and the obsession with food.

How do we get out of this cycle? How do we stop this food madness?

It really is a process of letting go of old ways of being, old ways of doing things, old ways of thinking. The process requires baby steps.

Baby Step 1

Stop dieting. Read more about this here and here.

This step in itself can take time. If this is the only thing you do, it’s enough.

Baby Step 2

Let go of rules and restriction. Allow yourself to eat what you want. This step can be terrifying for many people, it’s like being out at sea with no navigation system.

This step can also be very freeing. Just as when a baby is learning to walk, so too with this step, you will fall and walk and eventually you will learn to run freely!

Baby Step 3

Get to know your hunger. When we follow rules and plans of what, when and how much to eat we disconnect from our hunger. This attunement to hunger is something we are born with. As babies we cry when we are hungry, tired and need a nappy change.

On a deeper level, discover other things you are hungry for, so often we eat because we are hungry for stimulation or rest or connection.

Baby Step 4

Let go of judgement….food is not good and food is not bad. Food is simply food.

Let go of judgement of your body – let’s face it, if you weren’t at war with your body, you wouldn’t be struggling with food.

Watch those judgemental thoughts, they are often the triggers to overeat.

Who would have thought that Einstein was also a genius when it comes to changing your relationship to food!

Baby Step 5

Rediscover the pleasure of eating. Introduce pleasure into your life. Savour every bite. When we are aware of pleasure and eat what we truly want, we are less likely to be on the prowl later to satisfy our taste buds. When we are taking care of our needs we are also less likely to turn to food.

These are 5 basic steps, each step has its own challenges and may take longer than other steps. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself as you embark on these changes. No lasting change comes about by being harsh and critical. Breaking free from dieting and restriction can take long but the fruits of this liberation are worth it.

Take as long as you need. Move as slowly and imperfectly as it takes.

You can do this meal by meal, bite by bite.

May we find freedom from anxiety around food.
May we learn to accept our bodies.
May we live with ease.

Love,
Xen

“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”

Karen L, Denver, USA

“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Karen J, Colorado, USA

“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”

Sweta Vikram, New York, USA

“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”

Daniela Velásquez, Ottawa, Canada

“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”

Rachel, Dublin, Ireland

“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”

Heather B, Cork. Ireland

“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”

Michelle, Johannesburg, South Africa

“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”

Diana, Vancouver, Canada

“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”

Sarah, Illinois, USA

“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”

Sandy, London, United Kingdom

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro Professional Member of The Center for Mindful Eating