A Tale of Three Eaters

Filed Under: Holiday Eating

27 December 2023 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis

A Christmas story of false promises, good fortune and common sense.

Beth

Beth spent most of the year on and off a diet. Feeling motivated and on high because she was “being good” followed by despair and disillusionment because she ate chocolate and she “blew it”. Most nights she went to bed assessing what she ate that day. Her eating determined whether she would feel proud or guilty. As the end of the year approached, she thought she would focus on losing weight before the holidays. She thought about all the parties and family gatherings with dread and fear. She worried that she didn’t have enough willpower and control. She decided she would resist and be strong. The December holidays began with a series of year-end parties, lunches, social gatherings. At some point, it all became too for much for her, so she thought – “what the hell, this is too hard, I am going to start again in January.” So her December holiday was spent in a series of “last suppers” alternating between feeling guilty at overeating and rebelliously reacting …“who cares, I am going to be good in January”. When she felt guilty, she would exercise as penance for eating. In the end she even gave up on exercise. Beth didn’t always enjoy the food she ate, she ate things she didn’t even want or like, simply because she knew this would be her last time. In January, she would be “back on the wagon” sadly, only to fall off again. The saddest part about Beth’s story is that she blamed herself. She didn’t know that 95% of people who diet, gain the weight back and can’t stick to diets. Not because there is something wrong with them but because diets are inherently faulty.

Anna

Anna is one of those few women who has never ever been on a diet. She spent the year eating what she wanted. Her focus was not really on food. She enjoyed it and only ate what she liked, but food and eating did not occupy her thoughts much. As the holidays approached, it was a busy time. She thought about food and the meals her friends and family would enjoy. She looked forward to Christmas at her sister, who is a fabulous cook. She knew there would be deliciously prepared meals and that she would probably eat too much of the Christmas pudding or roast potatoes, but it was not a big thing for her. During her holiday she went on walks and when she felt tired, she lay on the sofa and read her book. Anna had no specific food plans for January and did not fear that there would be any restriction or forbidden foods.

Natalia

Natalia used to be a chronic dieter like Beth. After many years of yo-yo dieting, she realised the negative effects of dieting on her life and that over the years the weight always came back. The previous January she decided to change her approach. She took a big brave step and committed to DITCH DIETING. It wasn’t easy. She had been dieting since she was teenager. Natalia learned about Intuitive Eating and started integrating this approach into her life and over the year, she transformed her relationship with food into a way more peaceful one. This was not a quick and easy process, but she persevered. As the holidays approached, she noticed all the diet talk. People eating as much as they could, because in January they would get “back on track”. Instead, she let go of these old ways and she spent the Christmas holidays applying the non-diet tools she learned throughout the year. Natalia mostly ate when she was hungry. Most of the time she stopped eating at a comfortable point. And yes, there were times she overate but she didn’t beat herself up for it. She ate what she wanted with no guilt. There were times she ate because she was sad or lonely or bored, but she was kind to herself about it and understood that emotional eating is not a sign of weakness, it’s a way to soothe. There was no last supper eating like all the previous holidays. No binge eating because she had blown it by “cheating” – in fact words like “bad and cheating” didn’t exist in her vocabulary with food! There was no stress around what she could or couldn’t eat. She didn’t lie in bed at night doing an audit of what she ate and promising herself to be “good” the next day. She felt great freedom that diet prison was not waiting for her in January. She felt free and peace around all foods.

Who are you?

Beth*, Anna*, Natalia*?

*Beth, Anna and Natalia are not real people but I know many Beths, Annas and Natalias. In fact, I was Beth for almost 30 years. I can never be Anna because, sadly, I am a woman who has a long history of dieting and recovering from that can take a long time.

If Natalia’s story appeals to you and you would like to start feeling free around food in 2024, book a free 30 minute session.

Wishing you freedom and ease with food!
Xen

“From our first meeting - two faces on Zoom across the world from each other, there was a sense of familiarity and comfort that was a healing balm for a lifetime of food struggles and dieting. Without realizing how much damage I had done to myself by adhering, for decades, to restrictive food plans and rigid diet programs, Xen had a way of redirecting the harsh and negative self-talk and sending me forth each week with compassion, mindfulness and a new way of seeing myself in the here and now. Gone are the maybe somedays, and if-only, and when-I’m-smaller thinking. Now I am committed to the imperfect and rocky path to listening to my body, accepting my perfect imperfections, and rejecting diet mentality. Those negative voices will revisit me from time to time, I know, but Xen has offered valuable tools for meeting each day as a fresh start - another choice, another chance. Her devotion to this work and her belief in her clients is a remarkable gift; I am so fortunate to have found her. It is never too late to let go of the drama and embrace joy, ease and self-acceptance.”

Karen L, Denver, USA

“I felt hopeless and helpless in my daily struggle with mindless eating for many years. Then I found Xen which is exactly what I needed! My decision to work with her helped me to finally repair my relationship with food. It's changing my life for the better, one day at a time. Now I have control over the food, instead of it having control over me, which is the way it should be. I highly recommend Xen to anyone who has a desire to overcome similar food struggles. Xen, thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Karen J, Colorado, USA

“I reached out to Xenia because 2021 started on a tumultuous note for me. Between deaths, businesses suffering, hospitalizations, and job losses in our personal circle, I felt depleted and found myself being available for everyone but myself. Then I was hit with an unexpected health diagnosis, which was the last straw as it meant giving up “healthy foods” and workouts that I leaned on for my well-being and stability. Despite working in wellness (Yes, coaches and healers are vulnerable too!), I found myself reaching out to desserts for comfort. I like to live a life of permissions (not labels or deprivation leading to bingeing), so I wanted to work with someone who approached healing from a place of mindful compassion. I didn’t want to be my own client. Xenia was great in reminding me to be kind to myself. Working with her, brought me peace and helped shift my mindset. I love how desserts and I look at each other now.”

Sweta Vikram, New York, USA

“Working with Xenia was amazing. She armed me with a bunch of tools to help me through difficult times. Xenia is the kind of person who really cares for helping you in the long run. Her work will forever have an impact in my life.”

Daniela Velásquez, Ottawa, Canada

“Working with Xen was a game changer for me. After working together for a few months my relationship with food radically changed. I no longer felt like a failure. I now have the tools to nourish my body with foods that feel good in my body. I don’t feel guilty about eating cake or chocolate, I also don’t overeat cake and chocolate. I no longer feel the need to exercise to compensate for my eating. I feel much more free around eating and I am more accepting of my body. Xen has a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to coaching and really supports you in the process.”

Rachel, Dublin, Ireland

“Working with Xen has been very empowering. Her approach is so refreshing from the usual. I have learned that I am in charge and that I get to choose what I put in my body and how to move my body in a way that I like! I get to make my own choices. It’s so liberating. Once you get a taste of freedom with food, there is no turning back to old ways! Thanks Xen for guiding me along the way to freedom.”

Heather B, Cork. Ireland

“This is the answer for those of you that struggle with food and all that surrounds it. Xenia said that I could make peace with food and it seemed at the time like an impossible dream. Turns out it isn’t. I recommend Xen and the mindful eating / intuitive eating approach unreservedly. If you have any questions about my experience, please get in touch. Thank you Xen. My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐”

Michelle, Johannesburg, South Africa

“Xenia was a walking, living, breathing example of what can be done. I laughed and cried my way through a short course in this fascinating and invigorating programme with her, and have gained a designer tote full of coping skills that go way beyond containing kilogrammes. I feel infinitely lighter. I am doing this for me and, yes, you can do this for you too! And believe me, I’m cynical!”

Diana, Vancouver, Canada

“I don’t obsess about food like I used to. I am thinking differently about food and feeling so much more relaxed around all types of food. It’s wonderful to have pleasure and satisfaction from eating.”

Sarah, Illinois, USA

“I learned a new way of thinking about food. I have learned that food is not the enemy and that it can actually be enjoyed with no guilt.”

Sandy, London, United Kingdom

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro Professional Member of The Center for Mindful Eating