It's That Valentine Time Again: 14 Questions to Help You on Your Way to Loving Yourself

13 February 2018 | Written by Xenia Ayiotis

Filed Under: Body Acceptance Change

It’s that Valentine time again. 🙄

My rebellious nature reacts against forced enjoyment time a.k.a New Year’s Eve and forced romantic time a.k.a Valentine’s Day.

However, let’s put cynicism aside, the message behind Valentine’s Day is honourable….

When we think about love, we often look at love in relation to having someone to love or someone who loves us back.

What if we rather looked at self-love?

Self-love is very difficult. We are programmed to be hard on ourselves. I so often hear my clients say: “I want to learn to love myself”.

So how do we do it? How do we love ourselves?

It’s exceptionally difficult to go from judging and hating yourself to loving yourself, there are a whole lot of steps between hate and love.

First, we have to stop the hating, judging and beating ourselves up.

Secondly, we need to shift from hate to a more neutral attitude towards ourselves.

Thirdly, we need to learn to accept the parts of ourselves we have difficulty loving.

Once we can accept our “dark side”, be less critical about ourselves, and start practicing compassion when we mess up, then the pathway to loving ourselves can be easier.

As some of you know, I love questions. So I have created a list of questions that can help you on your way to self-love. Have fun with them!

  1. What does love mean to you?
  2. What are the biggest obstacles in your way preventing you from loving yourself?
  3. If you could go back in time, what loving words would you say to yourself at age 6, 12, 18, 24…?
  4. What are 3 things you love about yourself? (it can be your laugh, your loyalty – don’t just think in terms of appearance)
  5. Where and with whom do you feel really loved?
  6. What is something loving you wish someone would say to you?
  7. Say that thing to yourself – and again.
  8. When was the last time you lovingly indulged yourself? What did you do? How can you indulge yourself again? (a day alone? A pyjama day – my personal favourite!)
  9. What things, activities, people make you feel happy to be alive?
  10. What activity do you need to say yes to?
  11. What loving habit would you like to introduce into your life?
  12. How can you bring in more daily loving acts, words and beliefs towards yourself?
  13. If you chose to live your life with love – what would you do differently towards yourself, your family and your friends?
  14. Answer this…If I really loved myself, I would …………………………………………………………….

What if, for the rest of this year, you simply focused on loving yourself just a little bit more???


PS. As my gift to you for Valentine’s Day – here’s a copy of my list of 14 Questions to Help You on Your Way to Loving Yourself – download it, print it out and refer back to it over the next few days!

Tired of overeating and feeling out of control around food? Dieting and restriction hasn’t worked for you? Ready to end the war with your body?

I can help you find peace and freedom around food, eating and your body:


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