Blogs About 'Change'

The Long & Bumpy Path To Peace With Food

Many of my clients ask me about my experience in ending a 27 year long diet roller coaster ride and setting sail in the unchartered waters of Intuitive Eating. Intuitive Eating is a set of principles and a process that helps you recover from dieting and craziness around food. I was a chronic dieter, losing and gaining weight every year for 27 years. When I discovered the non-diet approach it was like winning the lotto. I loved the idea of giving myself unconditional permission to eat what I want....

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It's That Valentine Time Again: 14 Questions to Help You on Your Way to Loving Yourself

Filed Under: Body Acceptance Change

It’s that Valentine time again. 🙄 My rebellious nature reacts against forced enjoyment time a.k.a New Year’s Eve and forced romantic time a.k.a Valentine’s Day. However, let’s put cynicism aside, the message behind Valentine’s Day is honourable…. When we think about love, we often look at love in relation to having someone to love or someone who loves us back. What if we rather looked at self-love? Self-love is very difficult. We are programmed to be hard on ourselves....

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Set Yourself Free from Diet Prison: 18 Reasons Not to Diet in 2018

The New Year has begun and with that comes the idea of losing weight and going on another diet. Are you thinking of starting another diet in 2018? Think again! Here are 18 reasons WHY you should NOT diet this year or any year: Dieting has a 95% failure rate. Only 5% of dieters keep the weight off, most will gain it back in 1 – 5 years. It is not sustainable – it creates a yo-yo effect and that is far more unhealthy than carrying a bit of extra weight. Severe diets that eliminate many...

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New Beginnings – Out with the Old, in with the New: 18 Questions to Start 2018

Filed Under: Change Holiday Eating

“Celebrate endings for they precede new beginnings” — Jonathan Lockwood Huie — At this time of the year there are so many articles about New Year’s Resolutions, Big Changes and Big Goals, “The Best Year Ever” and by February it’s all abandoned. Like diets, resolutions don’t work. Change happens in small, repetitive, imperfect steps. Small wins matter. January and the onset of the new year, however, does bring hope for change and new beginnings. I traditionally like to start...

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What Are You Really, Truly Hungry For?

Filed Under: Change

What are you really craving? I am not talking about salt + vinegar chips or cheesecake. What are you craving that would be better than chips? Something that would make cheesecake pale in comparison. There are many reasons we overeat - one of those reasons is an unfed deeper hunger. It’s a hunger that cannot be satisfied with food because we still feel that ongoing emptiness after eating. Before I started on the path of making peace with food and my body, my life revolved around food. On a...

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Spring Is In The Air

Filed Under: Change

Spring has officially arrived in the southern Hemisphere, the days are longer, the jasmine is blooming and everything is coming alive. Many years back, in my dieting days, when spring arrived I would scramble to find my new diet and exercise regime to get my body “right” for summer. The cycle of hating my body thinner would begin. By hating my body enough, I thought I could deprive myself into that ideal “summer bikini body”. There are many ways I did this and maybe you recognise some...

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How to Tame the Diabolical Trio

Filed Under: Change

“We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses” ~ Carl Jung In last week’s blog I spoke about the Diabolical Trio - our inner critic*, inner perfectionist* and inner pusher*. If you missed out on that blog - you can read it here. In this blog, let’s look at how to tame these inner voices.  No - it’s not with a whip! First of all, acknowledge that our inner perfectionist, inner critic and inner pusher aren’t all that bad - they just...

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The Diabolical Trio: Part I

Filed Under: Change

Who are the diabolical trio? They are like the 3 ugly stepsisters in Cinderella or The Three Wicked Witches of the West... Sadly they are not fairy tale caricatures, but inner voices in our head that create misery and despair! I know them intimately - they lived in my head for many years and they still pop in to visit more often than I would like! The first of the trio is Perfectionista a.k.a The Inner Perfectionist*. She looks around and searches for her ideal vision of perfection... What...

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What To Give Up

Filed Under: Change

What do you give up to change your relationship with food and overeating? No, it's not carbs! You are probably expecting me to say give up sugar, refined and processed foods, alcohol, coffee, fried foods, etc, etc. So then what? Give up snacks or do some juicing and fasting? No... Give up yoga and do intense interval training? No... The things I am going to recommend that you consider giving up will change so much in your life. So here is what to give up: Hating yourself,...

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Hating Yourself Does Not Lead To Change

Filed Under: Change

Often my new clients come to me and believe that if they accept their body and are kind to themselves this will lead to more eating, laziness and a lack of action. They believe that change only happens if they are hard on themselves. So often I hear: "But if I accept my overweight body, I will never be able to change it." This is simply not true. Ever. My standard response to this statement is: "You cannot hate or bully yourself thinner" (Actually you can, I used to do that, but the...

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Disappointment

Filed Under: Change

Lately so many of my conversations with my clients have been around disappointment. Past and future disappointment. So, for the purposes of this blog let's define disappointment as the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. Reflecting on my own disappointments led me to think that we do more to avoid the discomfort of disappointment than we do to gain the pleasure of accomplishment. So often we don’t set out to achieve something we really...

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How To Overcome Instant Gratification

Filed Under: Change

One of my favourite blogs is Zenhabits by Leo Babuata. Today I would like to share with you his blog on A Brief Guide to Overcome Instant Gratification... It’s no secret that we live in the Age of Instant gratification. That’s not news. But Paul Roberts has written an excellent essay at The American Scholar looking at the breadth of this phenomena on our society — it’s a must read. A sample quote from Roberts’ essay: ‘The notion of future consequences, so essential to our development...

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Deprivation

Filed Under: Change

Is self indulgence the opposite of deprivation? So many of us fear the feeling of deprivation. I must be honest, it’s not my favourite feeling either. Many of my clients tell me: “I ate more because I did not want to feel deprived” “It’s not fair, everyone else was eating so I also ate!” Because we fear the feeling of being deprived we eat that 2nd cupcake or extra slice of pizza or we have that 3rdglass of wine or we eat until we are uncomfortable at a restaurant... The...

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Courage

Filed Under: Change

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying: I will try again tomorrow." Imagine just for a moment that you are having a discussion with your best friend about weight: You: I really want to lose weight Best Friend: Why? You: I want to feel good and look good Best Friend: Why Bother? You: What do you mean? Best Friend: You have tried soooo many times and failed. You are never going to lose this weight! You would probably...

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Oops!

Filed Under: Change

There is something quite simple and light about the word "OOPS!". It diffuses what we perceive as “wrong” behavior. So you went to lunch and overate... Instead of beating yourself up and telling yourself you are useless, that you will never lose weight, that this is hopeless, just say: OOPS! I overate today! You found yourself in front of the tv and before you knew it the chips peanuts, doritos, insert favourite fog food here…were finished…do you go to bed beating yourself up with…. I...

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Boredom

Filed Under: Change

So many of my clients tell me they eat because they are bored. I used to eat when I was bored and I often go shopping when I am bored. But what is boredom? Why are we bored? According to the Oxford dictionary: Boredom, adjective: feeling weary and impatient because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one’s current activity. Boredom is a choice... Find out what you want, what you love and go out there and do it! Lately, I am discovering that this is the best cure for boredom...

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I Want It

Filed Under: Change

I used to believe that eating was for thin girls. I wasn’t supposed to eat food I enjoy. My inner dialogue went like this: You shouldn’t... I want it... No you shouldn’t have that... But I want it... No you REALLY shouldn’t have that... Fuck it I want it and I am going to have it! The problem with not allowing ourselves to want what we want is that our desire gets more intense instead of going away. We believe that the only way we can change is through deprivation...

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Hunger

Filed Under: Change

Most of my adult life I would go to extreme lengths not to feel the sensation of hunger. I avoided it because it terrified me! I was so afraid of hunger that I used to eat consistently so that I wouldn’t feel that emptiness in my stomach. When I did feel hungry I used to panic, my internal alarm would go off….SOS …Hungry …Must Eat NOW! Lately, I have grown to love the sensation of gentle hunger. It’s like an sms from my body to eat again. Learning to tolerate and embrace hunger has...

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Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Filed Under: Change

You must watch what you eat. I will never lose this weight. I have no willpower. I am just a big girl. I just can’t stop eating. There’s something wrong with me I can’t lose weight. Losing weight is a struggle. I will always be overweight. Do you believe any of these thoughts? I used to believe all them and it took a lot for me to stop believing them. Those thoughts are not true. Here is what I know for sure: You can lose weight, end the struggle with food, stop overeating,...

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Having Everything My Heart Desires

Filed Under: Change

I used to fantasize about eating everything I wanted. I often dream about everything my heart desires. The other day I gave myself permission to spend and buy whatever I wanted. I went on a mission to spend money. Now, this is normally very easy for me to do….spend 1000’s on my Amex card and come home with lots of beautifully packaged goods. I just couldn’t do it. I could not consciously go and spend money. Unconsciously to numb my boredom – no problem! The other day I felt like...

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“The banquet is in the first bite...”

- Unknown -

“Seldom is the last of anything better than the first...”

- Irish Proverb -

“If hunger is not the problem, food is not the solution.”

- Brooke Castillo -

“Someday society will doubt the wisdom of dieting rather than the willpower of dieters...”

- Unknown -

“In eating, a third of the stomach should be filled with food, a third with drink and the rest left empty...”

- Unknown -

“If you are invested in security and certainty, you are on the wrong planet...”

- Pema Chodron -

“The only journey is the one within...”

- Rainer Maria Rilke -

“Right in the difficult must we have our joys, our happiness, our dreams: there against the depth of this background, they stand out. There for the first time, we see how beautiful they are.”

- Rainer Maria Rilke -

“Wellness isn't about deprivation and it's not about perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest potential and then taking small steps to support that shift. It is about showing up for yourself day by day and then one day finding that you have undergone a transformation.”

- Kathy Freston -

Certified by The Life Coach School Certified Weight Loss Coach Certified Life Coach Certified and Trained by The Original Intuitive Eating Pro